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Princessa
Yours Truly  Rara Alqadri |
Man Of Life
Boyfriend  Eric Heng Kun Fa My Heart & Soul
| Affiliates
Kickass ♥Fidah ♥Sis iiCa ♥Fana ♥Wani ♥iLa ♥zAiNuRiAh ♥KhAdIjAh ♥Ashraf<3<3 ♥Fuad ♥Eka
Friday, December 18, 2009
 I've been feeling all stressed up and extremely sad for the past few days. Whats with the never ending problems at work, home and with the other half. Work is hell. First and foremost, I have been arriving late for work for every single day. Cant seem to wake up on time and always, always leaving home at 715am when i'm supposed to start work at 8am. There seems to be alot of work to do. Purchasing, shipping and other nitty gritty stuffs. When I thought everything was okay, then something will definitely cropped up. And it doesnt help also, when you have a colleague who pass almost everything to you. I tried to be as organized as possible but when the workload gets too much, everything will go haywire. And to add to my workload, I have to think about the situation at home. If not because of the problems at home, i would have quit the job. The dad. Sometimes I just do not understand what he really want us to do. When we let him have his way, he will take advantage. And when we don't, he look so pathetic that will leave us all feeling guilty. Plus, he's at home all day and night and literally, leaving all the problems for us to settle. I hate seeing the mum so so sad. I hate it when the moment i reached home from work, she would pour all the details on me. As the eldest daughter, i feel like shit that I cannot do anything to help. I cannot shout or scold at the dad for fear of him leaving the house. I cannot confront or talk to him face to face as his ego is as huge as the universe. Even if I managed to talk to him, I cant talk to him nicely, because i will just cry, cry, cry or be very very rude to him. The other half. He's the bulk of my stress. I really do not know where to start with him. Its like we are drifting apart from each other as days goes by. Its like we only love each other only when we meet. But when we are not together, its like we are friends. Yes, we do text each other. But its not the same. We do not chat every night anymore. Because he always wants to sleep early or he will be too tired/sleepy to chat with me. And when he does that, he does not even give me a good night text, even if its just to make me feel a bit better. I always, always let him rest on the days we do not meet. Even so, he still do not want to chat with me. And when i let him rest, he either go out fishing or go chill with his friends. When he go fishing, he will be home late and i would be asleep by then. And when he chill with his friends after work, by the time he reach home, all he want to do is sleep. Without thinking, that i was waiting to talk to him Where is the time for me? Weekends? Thats only 1 freaking day on the weekend. Cause on weekends, its either he's working or have stupid plans with his friends. So, what does he need me for?? I do not want to waste another five years of my life for nothing. I wanted him to be my prince charming. I wanted him to be the one i wanted to marry. I wanted him to be the guy that would pick up the pieces of my broken heart. and I chosed him over the rest. But what do I get in the end? Retribution. My retribution.
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